The Waiting Place
The Waiting Place
Most women I work with are in the waiting place, which is defined in Dr. Seuss’s Oh The Places You’ll Go. In other words they are stuck…stuck at a job they hate, stuck waiting for retirement to have fun, stuck in a house they can’t stand. Why? Because they are scared to move forward in their life from lack of knowledge, education, or being terrified they will make a bad financial decision.
Here are a few symptoms of being in the waiting place:
Hating your life on Sunday nights.
Always daydreaming about winning the lottery.
Or just daydreaming about one day, but not today!
Constantly flip flopping between 2 decisions so you never take action.
Being envious of other people’s lives.
Always researching your options, but never taking action.
Resenting your current life.
Ok, maybe this list is the extreme version of the waiting place, but you might be on the spectrum. I know, because I was in the waiting place in the beginning of my career. Heck I was in the waiting place until a few years ago when my life completely changed…for the better. I wasn’t happy in my job, wasn’t satisfied with myself at the end of a long week of work, and definitely hating Sunday evenings which marked the end of my weekend. You can even ask my husband about it; he’ll tell you I wasn’t myself for a while. By a while, I mean 3-4 years, so yes I know very well about the waiting place. This is what helped me get out of the waiting place and maybe it can help you:
1. Find someone to talk to about it. Not just someone to vent to, but someone who will listen and help you talk through it. The best way is to pinpoint the problem. My coach does it by constantly saying is it this:__________________ or that:_________________?
a. Do you hate your job because of the pay or because you don’t feel fulfilled?
b. Are you waiting to retire because you don’t know if you have enough money saved or because you are nervous you don’t want to lose your identity you’ve created in your career?
c. Do you hate your house because it is too small or because you don’t feel at home in it?
2. After you can pinpoint the actual problem, it will get easier! The next step is to find a way to take action each day to overcome the problem. It can be just 1 thing to implement now! If you overwhelmed yourself with too many items, then you won’t make a decision and remain in the waiting place.
a. If you don’t like your job because it isn’t fulfilling you, start researching your passion project or a core pursuit. What jobs, hobbies do you really love doing?
What kind of people do you like to surround yourself with? If you still don’t know, then start journaling. You will find a theme to the ideas you keep coming back to in your writing.
b. If you’re nervous about retirement, talk with other people who are retired, and what worked for them. Speak with some professionals to get their thoughts and ideas.
c. You want a different house, start on Pinterest and other websites to see what you love. Maybe you can make your current place feel like home by changing the décor that surrounds you. Or if you really do need to move, put a list of your “must-haves”. Remember it can be something small like starting a list, finding a professional to talk to, or noticing the times during your day when you feel happy. Just get yourself to move.
3. My last recommendation is to surround yourself with people who want the same things or similar things in life, have accomplished what you want to do, or have helped others do it. My Strong Retirement Club is just like this, it is a group of women within 5 years of retirement or have just retired. Together, we help one another get through our limiting beliefs about retirement, learn the tools to help live the best retirement possible, and go into retirement feeling comfortable and also confident. Everything you want is located outside of your comfort zone, but with a coach/mentor and a tribe of women surrounding you, you aren’t stepping blindly out of it.
You are stepping with a guided hand.
If you want to learn more, let’s talk. Schedule a Discovery call or come to my next event. This could be your action for the day to get out of the waiting place. As a sneak-peak, with my
process, we dive into the root cause of our inability to live the life we want to live. We can’t just change our behaviors because we will always be at odds with ourselves: it must start with our
beliefs. Any opinions are those of Jessica Weaver and not necessarily those of RJFS or Raymond James. The information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that the foregoing material is accurate or complete. There is no assurance any of the trends mentioned will continue or forecasts will occur. Any information is not a complete summary or statement of all available data necessary for making an investment decision and does not constitute a recommendation.